Pretty Girl

More Than Money, 01/26/2018
One provider took a great deal of pleasure in looking pretty. She derived even more pleasure from the acknowledgement of her beauty. She loved sauntering down the sidewalk and catching male drivers doing a double take, eyes wide and interested, when they saw her. She loved when cars screeched to a halt beside her on the so called “ho stroll” (the colloquial term for the public street sex workers frequented). Sure, she spent time with men for the money but her motivation wasn’t limited to money. She loved the ego boost she received when people called her beautiful. If she went a day without a compliment she actually craved the praise. She wondered if she needed the props, but quickly dismissed the notion of psychological dependency as absurd. She told herself could quit seeking compliments anytime she wanted. It’s not like she needed people to tell her she was beautiful to feel special. It was just nice. Who wouldn’t like a steady influx of admiration. In a life that was devoid of family (because she was a born orphan) and friends (because she chose the company of substances over the company of people) without companionship from her work she would be totally alone. If she gave up her off track lifestyle, what would she do to endure her isolation. Never skilled at making friends, the fleeting nature of the client relationship was perfect because they parted ways before she could say something insulting. She did not make lasting friends in the sex industry, but prior to her work as a hooker she never had friends anyway. As a sex worker she at least had something, and something beats nothing every day of the week and twice on Sunday. If she was totally by herself would she grow strange (or stranger)like those women with 17 cats. Maybe in a world of isolation her cat conversations would be more elaborate, during which she would not just talk to her pet cat but she’d also hear the cat respond. One thing that surprised her about men who paid for women’s companionship was how often the men were truly lonely, in addition to being truly horny. What surprised her even more was how much solace working as a prostitute gave her. Every day as she walked to the ho stroll her heart was light and a sense of unlimited possibilities filled her spirit. All of those people who said she should stop hooking, said she was taken advantage of, those people would not be around when she was alone. And none of them ever called her pretty.

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