Ladies, if he badmouths you for this reason, it’s fine, even understandable.

Remember the classic movie When Harry Met Sally

Billy Crystal’s character explains that men and women can’t be friends bc a man is going to want to have sex with all of her attractive friends. He later amends his statement to include all of her unattractive friends in the group of women he’d like to enjoy. Men know what other guys say about us women when we are not present. To say their conversations are objectifying and sexually oriented is an amusing understatement that I will let stand. When it comes to having sex with someone and no one will ever know, well, there’s not a lot of women a guy would refuse under those circumstances. Guys know that men, themselves included, look at just about all women as sex objects, even if only for half a second. Just as they appraise their friend’s significant others, the friends are looking at his woman. It takes a lot to dissuade a man that a woman who his friend has sex with would not be good to sample. On the extreme downlow, you understand. Guys may not share their thoughts about each other’s partners but they know what’s unsaid. I’m going to make a controversial statement: there’s a startling lack of diversity when it comes to how men think of women, however briefly the thoughts last Yes, I’m totally assuming I know this based on my limited experience with certain men.

What’s a Guy To Do?

Men might wish to have sexual freedom but they don’t want their wives having the same freedom. “My wife’s married but I’m not,” is an expression that fits the predominant double standard. Men don’t want to share their wives. In an attempt to keep predators away, guys will badmouth their partners, especially attractive ones. I had a friend who told me he learned the hard way not to brag about his woman when his cellmate was released from jail a week before him and that guy was installed as his girlfriend’s new man by the time he tried to go home.

A Call to Action

Anyone who doubts me can use this quarantine time to explore new ideas with their mates. If you do, you’ll no doubt discover that he says bad things about you to other guys, family included, bc you are just that awesome.

One response to “Ladies, if he badmouths you for this reason, it’s fine, even understandable.”

  1. I’m going to immediately concur with the assessment that, even if briefly, the majority of cis men sexualize almost all females. We are wired that way on a primal level. Choosing not to act upon that impetuous is supposedly the mark of a civilized man. Dare I ask who is civilized among us?


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