A Study in Weirdos, The No-Shows Who Find No Sex, Sexy

People who cannot commit are common non-sexual participants in the lives of providers who post online ads. Posting ads changes procedure for the provider. Instead of meeting men for the first time on the street when the guys stop to pick them up, women with ads first talk or text and then meet the guys. Or make plans to meet anyway. There’s always someone who simply wants to make contact, for reasons unbeknownst to me, but has no intention of meeting. I’ve never gotten into the car if a guy who stopped for me only to find he just wanted me to get in and nothing more. He sets up an appointment, he confirms, he texts that he’s on his way, then he texts again to say “Here!”. He might stop contact then and there by abruptly not answering texts and calls when he had been totally reliable. At this time his phone is going straight to voicemail. 📴So annoying!

Another variation on this stunt is the guy who shows up, but does not emerge. He lets you know he is there, he sees you, and he is watching you as you look for him at the rendezvous point, saying, for example, “I see you in your red dress. I’m right up here, look to your left. Just a little further…no wait! You walked past my car. Come back.” Feeling like a complete fool you follow his directions, hoping against hope for a payday, until you admit to yourself he is another game playing time waster⏳. Alas, there’s no money coming your way. Damn. Even more annoying than the guy who drops out of cell phone contact because you feel like you got closer to getting paid. An illusion–you weren’t getting money from either of these types, ever.

The final variation of the cancelling/no-show guy is the guy who calls and cancels often enough for you to see the pattern. I call him the official canceller. At first there’s no way to know he isn’t serious because he appears to have enough ourtesy to cancel instead of standing you up. You learn that this person will not follow through. The guy who cancels is different from the guy who wants to lure you to a spot and make it known he is watching you. The chronic canceller never shows, never gives you a reason to go somewhere he can spy on you. He just wants to make arrangements and then officialy cancel, always through a text. On subsequent occasions, you agree to the appointment bc once in a great while, one of the official cancellation types shows. And pays.

I have never been able to get an explanation from any one of those official cancellation guys. The ones who make you look for them never ever answer your call again. The official cancellers will answer your call but probably only to string you along. They admit nothing. They’ll be like, “I totally meant to show up but something happened and I had to go back home.” I don’t see the pleasure in this, but different strokes…

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