My Lips: Today’s Sexy, Yesterday’s Shame, The Future’s Hope

This Pinterest link can take you to a site that features a product that’s supposed to plump your lips. Many people are trying to change their lips to look like mine. Wow! One of my features an “after” in a before and after ad for plastic surgery, and other extreme measures.
When I was in 7th grade the white kids in my gifted and talented class made fun of my lips. I did not dare wear chapstick for fear of adding volume. When I sat at my desk my lips physically felt huge, bulbous, too big to effectively form words. I was sure everyone else was correct. Why wouldn’t I be sure? The consensus was I was ugly. It never would have occurred to me that one day people would risk facial deformity and their overall health by injecting unidentifiable substances into their lips. Why? To look more like me! Me? The kids once drew a caricature of me and these lips were represented as one of my flaws, along with kinky hair that held onto spitballs the kids shot at the back of my head.
My memory of beauty standards is accurate. I recently saw one of those Molly Ringwald type teenage movies that was the rage in the era of The Breakfast Club. In this movie the main character’s name was Amanda Jones. There was a close up of the character applying lipstick to lips so thin they were barely there. I doubt that lipless leading lady would’ve gotten a second audition today. But in the 80’s everyone I encountered and every image I saw supplied the lipless beauty consensus that has fallen out of favor. I endured years of pain for nothing unless I use that pain to tell you this: People say if everyone is saying something about you there must be something to it. Not so. “Everyone” can be and has been, wrong. If they tell you you’re ugly remember my story of my lips.
Right now, what am I sure of that is totally wrong? Let me take comfort in the knowledge that I might not have any real knowledge. Prospects for finding a significant other look bleak, but what do I know? It’s a real relief to have good reason to let go of negative self perceptions even without replacement thoughts. I might not know how I am wrong, but I have faith that I am really clueless in ways I cannot yet comprehend. What a salve for depression. There is reason for hope, I hope. Even with no hope in sight. Hold on.

I am going to use Facebook to contact the 7th grade classmate who drew that caricature of me with big (hence, ugly) lips. I want to know if she has had her lips done. I will let you know if I get an answer.

Caroleena the expert escort

2 responses to “My Lips: Today’s Sexy, Yesterday’s Shame, The Future’s Hope”

  1. I can’t help but to feel a bit sad really, thinking about that 7th grader who has occupied your thoughts over the years and yet she probably does not even remember you.
    We all have our Demons.
    You are incredibly articulate and this aids in hiding your deep internal pain. I’m sure this blog is a good outlet for you. I would recommend a therapist. It helped me loads.


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