Certain Men Don’t Hit Women

When I worked in the sex industry I spent a lot more time than I ever would have imagined talking to clients. Come to think of it, in terms of minutes, if one were to count, I spent more time talking to clients than doing anything else. Surprised me, that was for sure. If there were no time constraints, it would not have been unusual for me to hang out for an hour or two. One reason for conversations that exposed me to attitudes from a geographically diverse group of guys was my true interest in seizing the opportunity to get to know people from all over the country. Hawaii was a tourist Mecca, before the pandemic, with 30,000 (!) people flying in daily. Whenever I found myself comfortably conversant with a client in his hotel room, I’d inquire about his thought patterns. (This practice also fed my delusion that I was doing anthropological research, not hooking. Lol.). Without exception, no matter where the man was from, when I asked a man why he respected women, if he had voiced this practice, I heard versions of the same influence:

My dad always said never put your hands on a woman. I always think of my mother, sister, aunt, or some other female relative, and I would not want anyone to hurt her.

The underlying reason men who don’t hit women remain nonviolent.

Father’s genuine good example + Favorable view of female relative = A Man Who Does Not Hit Women

Dad’s actions+ Opinion of Mom= Formula for Determining How a man treats women

Note: men always noted explicit lessons. In other words, dad spoke on the issue of misogyny in addition to leading by example. By the way, parental lessons are also influential in determining racist attitudes, according to my non-scientific research.

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