Who am I to Demand Honesty in a Relationship? How to put the Serenity Prayer in Action

Liars are the Rule Not the Exception

I used to get angry when the person I loved lied to me. It was not right! But the epiphany hit me: who did I think I was demanding the truth? I am not a court of law. No one faces perjury charges for lying to me. There are people, more than I ever realized, that lie as easily as they breathe. And they appear to need their lies like they need the breath of life. Who am I to demand that they change to conform to my standards. It is much easier to accept the people I cannot change.

What Liar Acceptance Looks Like

If I ask him where he has been I keep in mind that maybe it is true, maybe not. I don’t get upset. I don’t bother looking through his phone. Ultimately I stop asking questions. I understand that I cannot make him tell the truth no matter how upset I get. And that tendency is about him not me. I enjoy other parts of the relationship enough that lying is insignificant.

Lying is not a relationship deal breaker for me

Do I just allow them to lie to me? Let us face it, they are going to lie whether I like it or not. All of my objections profited not at all. Now I don’t indulge in useless self righteous anger. I know I have to verify their claims. I have absolutely no problem letting them know I know they are, not liars, but people who liberally interpret past events in a way that’s different than my way. They like that explanation. Dishonest people are so very offended by the title “liars” and they are outraged when people are dishonest with them. To all of that I say, oh well. I have changed my own perception of dishonesty from an accusation and into an observation.

You didn’t go to Jack in the Box you went to McDonald’s. Why would you lie about that?

Caroleena, to a boyfriend long ago

The artist must practice his craft.

The boyfriend, exhibiting a thought process totally foreign to Caroleena

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