Why do older men allow themselves to be “used”?

It used to amaze me when I watched people, older men, allow themselves to be “used.” I have seen men put up with working girls who stole from them, without even trying to hide their actions. Or maybe they lived with the older man but could not resist the call of downtown Honolulu (locals call the are “town”). There is something addictive about entering and returning to drug hotspots. Merely approaching the area can cause butterflies in the stomach, almost like a nervous feeling. I’ve watched older men drive around the area where the girls go to “catch a date,” because they know the woman they took off the street will be there or will return to get more money.once a man stopped me to ask if I had seen his girlfriend. I had not. Would I have told him if I had? Some people think there should be a code of silence and others do not care and hope to get a financial reward. My thinking was maybe I could get him interested in me. I wouldn’t run off with his money, I lied to myself. But no, he was interested in her. His regret was that try as he might, he couldn’t keep up with her habit. Why did he want to fund her habit? Because she was the only person who sought him out. It’s a powerful motivator–isolation, that is–and people will go to great lengths to matter to someone for any reason. He was ok with being “used” bc they used each other, needed each other, mattered to each other. There are many people who would love to be rudely interrupted when they talk just to feel like someone wants them to listen. I never knew how common loneliness is–even for married men. In my opinion, loneliness is a close second to sex drive as a motivating factor to participate in prostitution as a “trick.”

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