Relationship based financial assistance is wonderful. So much better than favor based financial assistance. When you receive payment for doing something, well, that is necessarily limited to the action–and how long the person wants to receive the favor from you. In my experience people never pay for favors ahead of time. After all, who is to say the person will want you, out of everyone, to do the job. I have relationship based financial assistance. Every working girl I have spoken to on the subject has told me she has had one or more guys who helped her out with money. Because she needed it. Not because she had done a specific thing for which she was receiving a specific amount of money. I would never have thought such a thing was possible. It is not even like Pretty Woman, the movie, because if you recall, in the beginning she was paid for favors. No, this is better bc this is closer to…affection. I have had two guys help me like that. The first I met when I first rescued a tiny baby kitten. He was a cat lover and offered to give me and the wee kitten a ride to the Humane Society to have the kitten’s rash examined. When we arrived we were summarily ordered to get out bc the kitten was obviously infested with parasites and we were not to return unless the kitten had vet treatment. Embarrassed, the guy said “I will pay for it,” as I bundled the kitten and fled. From then on he showed up every week to drop $200 for the kitten’s upkeep. Even after her scabies were cured he kept delivering money, sometimes more if I asked. This went on for over a year until one day he said he was getting out of the hobby and wouldn’t be coming by. I was not too surprised bc sometimes when he dropped off money he looked like he wanted to get away fast. That was the thing about this kind of support, the relationship kind. People move on. True for everyone but especially true with a man who cannot acknowledge you in public. The second guy, that was emergency based requests. Not many, but he was definitely there and he gave without hedging or guilt tripping. Technically, I suppose he would still be there. But better not to ask and assume the answer would be yes. Like the cat in a box with a vial of poison. As long as you do not open the box to limit yourself to the knowledge of what is, you can always believe the cat is alive though you know it could be dead. In some cases it is best not to know what is while you enjoy the possibility of what could be. That’s what it is like depending on relationships when such dependence is scary bc you have mostly been ineligible (apparently) for commitment. Tenuous hope best maintained by not pushing it. While being grateful you have even that much.
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