This is the first filter that accurately makes me look black

I never noticed before, the racial slant of the filters. I just thought, I must look whiter than I ever knew. I believed the filter was seeing a reality that maybe my eyes couldn’t see. Like this:

A typical outcome when I ask a filter to alter my picture. A whitified me.

Then I saw this result, just a couple if days shy of my 48th birthday. I look half black/white. I look like me! Wouldn’t you agree?

Am I right to tentatively conclude that filters make people look more Caucasian? Maybe it is bc the people designing them are white and they natural, even subconsciously, design them to look realistic as they see realism and their reality is people are white. Surely the whitifying (my word) of selfies is not done on purpose for some sinister reason. Or maybe it was done on purpose bc people like the whitified pix better. Do I like the white version of .e better? It’s always trippy to see yourself as a cartoon. I like that part, seeing myself in a we hole new way entertains my self involved nature. But , let’s get back to the deeper truth. Part of me liked looking whiter. There. I have said it. I like looking more like what I have been told is pretty. Long hair. Light eyes. I don’t have either of these features. The filter shows me what might have been if the genetic ball had bounced differently. And I wish it had. As shameful as it is to admit, I wish it had.

The voice in my had that demands I make this writing more personal and relatable should be happy. That’s all I can stand to confess at this time.

Wow, it’s hard, slow and painstaking work to write honestly. I do not like the way it feels, baring myself. I hope it’s not for nothing.

Caroleena, taking a chance that cringing honesty will increase the popularity of her work, and oh yeah, free her mind.

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