Incest and rape. The two exceptions to the belief and, it is claimed, policy banning abortions. Abortion opponents say these abortions are allowed. What a joke. A bad joke. No one believes in mandating pregnancy regardless of the situation. The most ardent activists want to appear reasonable so they offer the sacred exceptions of rape and incest. After all, rape and incest are so taboo(which does not mean uncommon) that no man will publicly admit to engaging in either, unless he is caught by law enforcement and a confession might profit him. No man who has gotten away with prurient interest I his daughter, for example, casually mentions his prediction at the water cooler or any other public space. The official position in American culture is we don’t talk about this, but we are all in agreement that it’s horrible, and any pregnancy that results does not count. It has always been said that women can, or should be able to, get an abortion if she has been victimized.
I do not know if policymakers have ever spoken to women, personally who have had these experiences. I have. Let me share a bit of real world experience that causes me to doubt these exceptions are ever enforced. ….If I had stayed on the professional path when I graduated from Harvard I would have limited my contact with similarly situated people. I would never have had even a thought of sitting next to a homeless person on the cardboard liberated from a dumpster and repurposed from packing material to disposable furniture. I wouldn’t know their stories because I would not have approached. Yes, I had a plan to move my teaching career from private, independent Manhattan schools for the privileged, to adult education at Riker’s Island. My heart to help was genuine, and still is. But I would have judged. I would have been convinced of my superiority over the students and they would have felt my vibe. No one would have shared their personal, deeply intimate stories about taboo subjects. The person I am today is approachable. I have a great vocabulary bc high test scores weren’t ticket out of a bad childhood situation and I put more effort into studying for the SATthan anything else. Hence, though I am not effortlessly gifted I sound smart. I cannot see something once and remember it. But what I can do is get up at 3:00 a.m. and apply self patience to my learning style so that I do not down myself for needing to go over the material 30 times. I let go of the inaccurate idea that I was intellectually above other people, and people felt my vibe. They knew I was not any better than they were and even if women I spoke with in prison did not consider me friend material they told me about the incest and the raped. I do not have personal experience with these horrors but after my conversations I saw the plus side of being an orphan. Incest and rape go hand in hand. Not once in a lifetime, not one perpetrator. According to the incarcerated women who were with me at the jail or the Oahu Community Correctional Center (Oh Triple C) and the prison, the Women’s Community Correctional Center (W Triple C or W’s), their little girl bodies were available to any male relative. There are men who interpret their attraction to women as an invitation and the woman’s responsibility. I have yet to meet a man who will admit to even knowing a child molester much less engaging in that behavior. I believe these men probably hold the one child responsible as the “cause” of that behavior. I met two women who had children fathered by their fathers as young teens. How could these girls have asserted their right to an abortion?I picture an interview between the provider, the girl, and the patent who must be there bc she is a minor. She would have to get the consent of her rapist for the abortion. Can anyone picture this happening in the real world? Let’s say a woman is raped by a stranger and he is caught immediately, before he can exit the house he broke into and laid in wait for her to come home, (a fear of mine). Wouldn’t he have to be found guilty with a quickness so she could get the abortion before the birthday. The suspect wouldn’t yet have a set trial date but we know that date will be about 18 months to 2 years after arrest. The best case scenario of the rapist’s immediate capture doesn’t help her access her “choice.” I did not research this topic bc I wanted to give you my reasoning influenced only by actual survivors of rape and incest. Imagine having to tell those stories to indifferent strangers hoping to qualify for an abortion. Talking about what family members did to you, being called a liar, people accusing you of complicity for not saying anything. No thank you. But a pregnant woman cannot do what I am about to do, which is put the horror away. The ever present situation is literally worsening each moment. What can she do about an unwanted baby?
Have heard these stories because I was fortunate to discover I am no better than anyone and I don’t have to prove anything. I have never had an abortion but I have so thoroughly demonstrated my membership in the imperfect club that women tell me things like they did not have the nerve to blow up their family by outing the offender. Or they don’t know which guy was the “father” because she was drunk during the gang rape. Do you have stories to add to the conversation? Send them as comments, and they won’t automatically appear. I am listening.
Hawaii Street Life-a Trusted Insider Tells All 