Dear A.,
I admit I thought I could generate good feelings about me within others by sharing what I have. Surely they honor what I gave and allow me to hang out. No, it’s impossible to by affection, but people will act nice if they are, more or less, paid to do so. I confess I thought I would have companions who acted pleased to have me around. And they’d see their self interest was tied to acting as if. But people’s hearts rule them and the affection not felt comes through in the indifference I was shown. Luckily I have pretty much learned that there’s nothing for me but association minus camraderie. Otherwise I’d really be hurt by this weekend’s events! Let me begin…
Thank you for having the phone put in the car. I still need the $140 for the stolen phone. Not necessarily all at once but payments need to start. People must believe I have my independent self supporting lifestyle, while having my recreation, by being a stupidly passive pushover. Not so. I’ve consciously overlooked what I can no longer ignore. A few changes: no one but me can drive my car under any circumstances unless they pay the insurance fee to be added as an additional driver on my policy. I’m severely limiting dropping people off, to just about never. My car is searched, items displaced and I know my car door key is out there in the world too. Btw, the bug off was not in glove box yesterday, my apartment is searched in my absence. Only temporary even if keys are copied, til I move and I’ll be unable to give apartment number, so I cannot spend any money for moving fees on anyone I know, not that anyone’s all desperate to know my new address, lol. I accept that I am not someone people bond with or care about. I’ve stopped looking for friends. I had hoped to have associates in a mutually beneficial arrangement but it looks like there are attempts to take advantage of me. The ticket is not a big deal but concealing it and lying about the circumstances shows no respect for me. Taking my car to go boosting, and offering this service to others without my knowledge or consent (or whatever you’re really doing in my car) has contributed to this decision. I’m not hurt bc my feelings are not involved. We are not and have never been friends. I get it. I’m Just disappointed that we no longer will be able to share the car and housesit and other things involving trust. You can “cut me down” and call me names and laugh about me as you have done, but when I have real world consequences for being disliked and disrespected, I know there’s no way to fix it but to start putting limits. I’ll need the money for the phone and ticket. If I need your time services let’s work out a reasonable compensation. I don’t expect to hang out.
Hawaii Street Life-a Trusted Insider Tells All 